the otherwhirled

where nothing is real, and nothing else is sacred.

Spam Hog Attraction Pondering

in lieu of Search Engine Shenanigans and scantily-clad photoshop jobs of the madame who is secretary of state, i thought i’d share with you some of the ‘usernames’ or subject titles that currently show up in my Akismet spam queue. it really makes you wonder what people are thinking…

  • patch perfect ~ obviously, they didn’t watch ‘Patch Adams’ in its entirety
  • kcfd cyjokv ~ you know, i think i trademarked that one after a particularly long weekend of drinking back in my college days. i may have to sue for plagiarism!
  • free cash casinos ~ yeah….right.
  • christian song lyrics and tabs ~ absolutely disgusting!
  • thank you notes for interviews ~ which oddly links to one of the ubiquitous online casinos. whatever!
  • DelaUtept ~ cautions us: “a long ago for you was not much interesting found for you on I advise to call on my resource on a fight against such spam spam to fasts of vstrech’ in ether if I to whom both may need or I in icq” ~ well, isn’t THAT special?
  • analiwx ~ has cheap viagra for us. how thoughtful!
  • birthday party clown detroit michigan ~ i suppose that might have been fun, but the clown forgot to even include a link!
  • home remedies for nail fungus ~ these people really are quite helpful, aren’t they?
  • find rockhopper on club penguin ~ it begins to sound like an old Infocom game…
  • nez perce corn husk bag ~ i always wanted one of those!
  • how to drive a golfball ~ Step 1. Make yourself really, really small.
  • furniture exposed to tear gas ~ bean-bag chairs with post traumatic stress disorder. like new!
  • realty in west mobile alabama ~ you know you’re a redneck if you can replace all four tires on your ’67 Chevy with the ones on your house!

sorry, i didn’t feel like doing photos this morning…maybe later.

2007.07.31 Posted by | blogging, humor | 2 Comments

For the Perverts in the Crowd

This was going to be another installment of Search Engine Shenanigans, but my list of search engine terms isn’t remarkably different this week.

And actually, there wasn’t that much different between the first two
installments: Search Engine Shenanigans and This Week in Otherwhirledly Visitations. Unfortunately, the vast majority of my visitors seems entirely disinterested in my particular flavor of snark, preferring instead to search for nude photographs of Condoleezza Rice.

Since I always aim to please, here then, are the four best grossly over-photoshopped supposedly Condoleezza Rice nude photographs that I could find on the web. Don’t say I never gave you anything! Yes, my fellow Americans, I realize that what I’m giving you is somewhat akin to acute appendicitis, but at least it was free! And to make matters even worse, images that are actually larger than presented here link to their full-size versions, stored here at the otherwhirled so they won’t start disappearing like the images in my older posts have started to do!

Condoleezza Rice Nude Bathing On the left we have the lovely Condi carefully relaxing in the bathtub so as not to dampen her impeccably coiffed hairdo. (the original context of this image on seems to be gone now.
Next, we have the alluring Condoleeza Rice in leather, preparing for a three-way with Mideast leaders. Tantalizing, isn’t she? From the folks at Crystal Air. Condoleeza Rice in Leather
Condoleezza Rice Nude Pregnant with Baby Here’s one to make you go “Hmmmmm…..”. This one is part of a two-fer that comes to us from Unconfirmed Sources, but don’t click that link just yet. Wait for the last one, so that the overall effect isn’t lost. Brilliant job, whomever the graphic artist was!
Well, if that’s not enough to absolutely make you go, “GAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!”, then nothing is! This is a fantastic ‘Shop-job of what Condi may well look like after a long and involved affair with Gwen Ifill. You never know! And obviously, I can’t put this up with out a hugely awe-struck tip of the helmet to an unnamed graphic artist at Unconfirmed Sources. Bravo! Condoleezza Rice Nude Bazaar Mockup

So, there you have it, friends and neighbors. I respectfully held off from posting this yesterday, and I hope you appreciate that. I just didn’t think it was a proper way to start off the week, even though so many of you seem to want it!

{UPDATE} ever-diligent in my quest for grossing out my true readers, I happened to note at the end of that Unconfirmed Sources article that there were links to other images from their supposed “cover shoot”. Brace yourselves. Get your ice-picks ready to take out your eyeballs. This might get scary!

Condoleeza Rice nude pregnant pose Oh now, come on, be brave! This one isn’t so bad, and it was relatively predictable, wasn’t it?
This one, however, is going to give you nightmares. I know it will, because I said so! Condoleezza Rice Nude in Fur

If anyone knows who the graphic artist(s) is/are for Unconfirmed Sources, I would very much love to give him/her/them credit for his/her/their work. This is brilliant satire, especially when you get all philosophical about whatever the fake Condi might be pregnant with—like, say, political hegemony and/or ideas of global domination in the name of King George the Worst, etc.

2007.07.31 Posted by | humor, public figures, rice bowling, snark | 2 Comments

Driving Under the Influence…

(AFP/Saul Loeb) …of another gratuitous photo-op.

“Hey, lookit me! Ah’m in the driver’s seat!” the president cooed gleefully.

“Pfft. As if,” the vice president mumbled, off-camera.

photo credit: AFP/Saul Loeb

2007.07.30 Posted by | humor, politics, public figures, snark | 1 Comment

The incognito Madame (Secretary)

(Kevin Lamarque/Reuters) “As if her future’s so fucking bright she’s gotta wear shades.”

photo credit: Kevin Lamarque/Reuters

2007.07.30 Posted by | humor, political hegemony, politics, public figures, rice bowling, snark | Leave a comment

Driving (with) Mr. Dazey

(AFP/Saul Loeb) “Buckle up, Brownie-two! Now that yer here, yer in fer a helluvva ride!”

or perhaps this relevant quotation from “Driving Miss Daisy”: “I wouldn’t be in your shoes if the Sweet Lord Jesus come down and asked me himself.”

photo credit: AFP/Saul Loeb

2007.07.30 Posted by | humor, opinion, political hegemony, politics, public figures, snark | Leave a comment

How much…

(AFP/Saul Loeb) “…for this one, Georgie? He has such a strong chin, and his gun is so…powerful!”

photo credit: AFP/Saul Loeb

2007.07.30 Posted by | humor, politics, public figures, snark | Leave a comment

Come unto me,

(AP Photo/Mary Ann Chastain) “all ye who are over-monied, and i will give you breast!”

(or so we hear from the right-wing pundit-class, that is)

photo credit: AP Photo/Mary Ann Chastain

2007.07.30 Posted by | 2008 cycle of dementia, humor, public figures, snark | 1 Comment