What a Jerk.

I mean, what kind of guy just stands there waving when the one woman in the world who actually loves him has to open the car door herself? Gah.

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photo credit: Will Burgess/Reuters

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Yeah, but does she cast a reflection?

Reuters caption: U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice casts a shadow on a wall as she answers a question during a news conference with Egyptian Foreign Minister Ahmed Aboul Gheit after a meeting with selected foreign ministers in Sharm El-Sheikh July 31, 2007.

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photo credit: Tara Todras-Whitehill/Reuters

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TV Personality

During her visit to Jeddah, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice participated in the Saudi version of “The Dating Game.” Sadly, however, none of the contestants chose to take poor Condi home.

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photo credit: AFP/Hassan Ammar

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For the Perverts in the Crowd

This was going to be another installment of Search Engine Shenanigans, but my list of search engine terms isn’t remarkably different this week.

And actually, there wasn’t that much different between the first two
installments: Search Engine Shenanigans and This Week in Otherwhirledly Visitations. Unfortunately, the vast majority of my visitors seems entirely disinterested in my particular flavor of snark, preferring instead to search for nude photographs of Condoleezza Rice.

Since I always aim to please, here then, are the four best grossly over-photoshopped supposedly Condoleezza Rice nude photographs that I could find on the web. Don’t say I never gave you anything! Yes, my fellow Americans, I realize that what I’m giving you is somewhat akin to acute appendicitis, but at least it was free! And to make matters even worse, images that are actually larger than presented here link to their full-size versions, stored here at the otherwhirled so they won’t start disappearing like the images in my older posts have started to do!

	On the left we have the lovely Condi carefully relaxing in the bathtub so as not to dampen her impeccably coiffed hairdo. (the original context of this image on grannygeek.com seems to be gone now.
Next, we have the alluring Condoleeza Rice in leather, preparing for a three-way with Mideast leaders. Tantalizing, isn’t she? From the folks at Crystal Air.
	Here’s one to make you go “Hmmmmm…..”. This one is part of a two-fer that comes to us from Unconfirmed Sources, but don’t click that link just yet. Wait for the last one, so that the overall effect isn’t lost. Brilliant job, whomever the graphic artist was!
Well, if that’s not enough to absolutely make you go, “GAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!”, then nothing is! This is a fantastic ‘Shop-job of what Condi may well look like after a long and involved affair with Gwen Ifill. You never know! And obviously, I can’t put this up with out a hugely awe-struck tip of the helmet to an unnamed graphic artist at Unconfirmed Sources. Bravo!

So, there you have it, friends and neighbors. I respectfully held off from posting this yesterday, and I hope you appreciate that. I just didn’t think it was a proper way to start off the week, even though so many of you seem to want it!

{UPDATE} ever-diligent in my quest for grossing out my true readers, I happened to note at the end of that Unconfirmed Sources article that there were links to other images from their supposed “cover shoot”. Brace yourselves. Get your ice-picks ready to take out your eyeballs. This might get scary!

	Oh now, come on, be brave! This one isn’t so bad, and it was relatively predictable, wasn’t it?
This one, however, is going to give you nightmares. I know it will, because I said so!

If anyone knows who the graphic artist(s) is/are for Unconfirmed Sources, I would very much love to give him/her/them credit for his/her/their work. This is brilliant satire, especially when you get all philosophical about whatever the fake Condi might be pregnant with—like, say, political hegemony and/or ideas of global domination in the name of King George the Worst, etc.

The incognito Madame (Secretary)

“As if her future’s so fucking bright she’s gotta wear shades.”

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photo credit: Kevin Lamarque/Reuters

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Steamy Rice

“Madame Secretary ponders the contents of a secret communiqué from Gwin Ifill, promising a romantic future filled with much naughtiness.”

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photo credit: AFP/File/Miguel Riopa

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I appreciate…

“…the fact that you’re single, Madame Secretary, and I’ll even go so far as to admit to the convenience of that, but you see, I have standards, and you’re a Republican.”

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photo credit: AFP/Getty Images/Alex Wong

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