the otherwhirled

where nothing is real, and nothing else is sacred.


penis-birthday-cake.jpgThank you.

I was recently reminded of an important anniversary: that of the birthday of an anonymous friend whom we will refer to as “Krystal“, because that’s her name. I will tactfully refrain from revealing the extraordinary number of years which Krystal has been alive, but it’s only like 4 or 5 (or is it 6?) if you group it into decades. See Krys, you ain’t old at all!

At any rate, I wanted to be sure to do something nice for Krystal on her massively-ancient fortieth birthday, because she wasn’t too bad of a neighbor when we were growing up ever so long ago. And since she’s practically older than god and we’ve been apart for so long, I thought I’d do something really “nice” for her. Yes, even though she refused to come see me when I visited San Antonio earlier this year (claiming a “missionary trip”, as if her husband can only lay face-down and moan somewhere in the US).

So, I would like to ask all my readers if they would please stop whatever they’re doing at precisely 9:00 p.m. Eastern tonight and burst out in a spontaneous birthday song in honor of Krystal, the agèd friend of Commander Other. This will be especially exciting if you’re on a crowded bus or airplane, so make sure you sing it off-key in the loudest voice you can muster.

Happy Birthday, Krystal, and may you continue to feel only as old as your children cause you to feel! So, make a wish and blow, Krys!


2007.08.23 - Posted by | humor, snark


  1. Happy Freakin’Birthday!

    And I’d love some cock I mean cake!(not sure of my html code, sure hope that works!)

    Oh I am such a naughty girl. But you started it CO!

    Comment by FranIAm | 2007.08.23 | Reply

  2. save a piece for Laura and Condi — they dont ever see anything nearly that size

    Comment by Distributorcap | 2007.08.23 | Reply

  3. Well, somebody is up to date on his naughty meds….

    Comment by Sorghum Crow | 2007.08.24 | Reply

  4. BTW – I am still waiting for my, uhm- my piece.

    Comment by FranIAm | 2007.08.24 | Reply

  5. ummm….so is Mr. HeIs?

    (sorry, but you DID kinda lay that one out there!) 😉

    Comment by commander other | 2007.08.24 | Reply

  6. Fair play indeed. Since we live apart during the week for the moment… However I am here blogging away in my Albany home right now. Don’t expect to see me online tonight!! I can have my cake and…. oh never mind. Go read my I’m a big Christian post and understand all this lunacy lives in one heart and head.

    Comment by FranIAm | 2007.08.24 | Reply

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