the otherwhirled

where nothing is real, and nothing else is sacred.

Test Question: Presidential Cabilities.

(Reuters/Jim Young) Your test question for the day:

And when it came time for the American President to lead the great Circle Jerk of North American Leaders, he proved incapable of:

  1. leading
  2. coherent thought
  3. forming a circle
  4. unfastening his own pants
  5. finding his own penis
  6. not strangling himself with his own belt
  7. all of the above

SPECIAL BONUS QUESTION: Use all the options above in a short story, as inspired by FranIAm in the comments below!

winner will receive an all-expenses paid, round-trip ticket to their own bathrooms. your mileage may vary. see inside of box for details.

photo credit: Reuters/Jim Young


2007.08.22 - Posted by | humor, politics, public figures, snark


  1. He could have poured piss out of his boots, except the instructions were obscured by the presidential seal.

    Comment by Sorghum Crow | 2007.08.22 | Reply

  2. Welcome to
    Flabbey Road

    Comment by Mr DeBakey | 2007.08.22 | Reply

  3. After leading the others he realized that he could not form a
    coherent thought. They found themselves, almost unconsciously forming a circle. Suddenly one had the feeling that nothing good could come from this.

    Using skills he had not previously accessed he began unfastening his own pants! Usually he had trouble finding his own penis, which is why it was nice to have Pickles, Karen “Kick Ass” Hughes, Condi and Babs “The Impaler” around. Sure she was him mommy, but then wasn’t she the first one to even see his peepee?

    Those women usually worried about him. No he was not strangling himself with his own belt! One of the guys in skull and bones taught him that and it made cumming real good. Yeah!

    Sudden Fiction brought to you by FranIam due to the great creativity this site encourages!

    Comment by FranIAm | 2007.08.22 | Reply

  4. Oh dear, what have I done?

    Comment by FranIAm | 2007.08.22 | Reply

  5. ummm….ummmm….

    i think i am pleased to have inspired such creativity in the comments. that was pretty fun, FranIAm.

    thank you for the porthole view into your sick, demented, twisted self. i don’t feel quite so lonely anymore!


    Comment by commander other | 2007.08.22 | Reply

  6. Golly- its been ages since anyone said anything that nice to me! Gee whiz, sure glad I could oblige.

    I mean there was that vagina dentata joke I made over at DistributorcapNY earlier today, but…

    Oh dear. And I think I may actually be the only church goer in this particular blogging circle.

    Well THAT explains a lot!

    Comment by FranIAm | 2007.08.22 | Reply

  7. As Jenna aimlessly wanders the halls of the White House, she finds her mind, or possibly her curiosity, leading her to her father’s bedroom.

    She creeps quietly to the door, and is horrified by the sight of her father unfastening his own pants as his male companions are kneeling on the floor forming a circle.

    “Like, oh my God!” Jenna thought to herself. “What should I do? Maybe daddy is just having trouble finding his own penis,” which seemed plausible because her father has enough trouble with coherent thought much less finding his own dick.

    She stood thinking,”Should I knock, should I just barge in, should I have another Twinkie or all of the above?”

    After several minutes, Jenna decided her best option was to chase down a box of Twinkies with a two liter of Big Red.

    “Well,” she thought, “at least he’s not strangling himself on his own belt again, and with that she headed off to the kitchen.

    Comment by fairlane | 2007.08.22 | Reply

  8. He also forgot to wipe Lieberman’s chin prints off his balls.

    Comment by Morse | 2007.08.22 | Reply

  9. In fairness, W’s penis is so small that anyone would have a hard time finding it.

    Comment by PissedinNYC | 2007.08.22 | Reply

  10. And Kudos, FranIam and Fairlan. Inspired.

    Comment by PissedinNYC | 2007.08.22 | Reply

  11. people down the hall are wondering why i am laughing so hard

    Comment by distributorcap | 2007.08.23 | Reply

  12. Oh what my twisted mind has wrought. However Commander Other started it! I have been unduly influenced by one too many blog visits, not only here but to here as well.

    Comment by FranIAm | 2007.08.23 | Reply

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