Even Divine Intervention…

…couldn’t get Hillary not to sound like the moderate that nobody wants.
 
‘I am squishing your head, Hillary,’ spake the Divinity.
 
‘Good luck, Lord,’ replied Bill. ‘Trust me, it’s like a rock! Hey, now that woulda been a better theme song for her campaign!’

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an otherwhirled original.
photo credit: Joshua Lott/Reuters

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Reasonable Demands.

“A bevy of conservative women confronted The Decider In Chief today in Cleveland, demanding that he take immediate control of their uterii and sacrifice their children via additional National Guard deployments to Iraq. ‘And please, Your Worship,’ they pleaded in unison, ‘bomb Iran!’”

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…or at least, that’s what he thought they said…

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photo credit: AP Photo/Amy Sancetta

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I like our current form of government…

“…and all that, but there are some elements of the Chinese way of dealing with political hypocrisy that are at least worth considering.”

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AP caption: “Zheng Xiaoyu, the former director of China’s State Food and Drug Administration, is seen in a meeting of the Chinese People’s Political Consultative Conference (CPPCC) in Beijing in this March 4, 2003 photo. Zheng was executed Tuesday July 10, 2007, for approving untested medicine in exchange for cash, leading to the deaths of at least 10 people. The execution was the strongest signal yet from Beijing that it is serious about tackling its product safety crisis.”

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photo credit: AP Photo/EyePress

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Ah know it’s there sumwhare…

“First, it was innis lef’ hand, then it was innis raht hand, so where tha hell issit now? Ah bet it’s behind mah ear agin. Ah friggin’ hate that…”

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photo credit: REUTERS/Larry Downing

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Now, Ah know ya’ll’ve haddit up ta here wiff me,

“but when ya put me next to a real man, that really ain’t so much! Hehehehehe….oh, waitaminnit…..Damn.”

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photo credit: Larry Downing/Reuters

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What is the shelf life of a first lady?

It appears that Pickles has already been prepared for canning.

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photo credit: AP Photo/Gerald Herbert

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So, the president fell out of the Ugly Tree…

…hitting every branch on the way down, and landed in a big puddle of stupid. Of course, this gave him the idea that the Executive Branch should be the whole damn tree, and we can only hope that when he falls out of this one, he’ll land in a great, big puddle of impeachment.

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photo credit: Jim Young/Reuters

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